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Confessions of a Sea Creature Trapped in an Artists Body


All my life like many artists I have felt alone out of place a misfit.  No I am not gay, overtly shy or a racial minority many of the other things that many people struggle with as they strive to be a functioning happy member of society its worse…I feel and have always felt trapped in a human body.   The reason lies in the fact that ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a sea creature.   Wishing I could trade my arms and legs for fins and my nose for gills.  I am happiest in the water and though I am afraid of heights I feel much calmer in the depths of the deep blue often using half the oxygen of my dive buddies when under the water.  When I mention this desire to morph into an ocean creature no matter how “other” my audience is be it a transgender performer or a reclusive scientist I see there eyes fill with suspicion.  Leaving me feeling more alone than before I mentioned it.

Why is this so after all we are water based life forms all living on a watery planet so what is the big deal about wishing you were a dolphin, shark, octopus or some hybrid of all three?   What is so special about being human anyway?   For a long time through my science based sculptures I tried to illuminate the microscopic I felt if humans could see in three dimensions beyond what the human eye could perceive they would take better care of themselves and the planet especially the ocean.  The more I became involved with art and science the more I realized that humans are completely human centric.  All of my projects that received big funding were based on human health and human concerns.  It is not that I am against humans it is just that I see them as a tiny part of our watery biosphere and that tiny part is growing out of control like a cancer upon the earth.